You, Me and Tea

It is commonly known that if you want to write well you must write about something you know and love.

I’m British, so it’s safe to say I know a lot about tea and I’m a bit obsessed by it.

I know the perfect brewing time, the perfect amount of sugar and most importantly the water should always be added before the milk. It’s blaspheme to suggest otherwise. I own a plethora of tea flavours which are stored in my tea cabinet; displayed proudly in the living room for all to admire.

But despite all this, the golden rule of tea is that it should be drank from your favourite mug to gain that extra sense of comfort after a long day. But last Monday, as the Halloween clock struck, I broke my one true mug.

Continue reading “You, Me and Tea”

An Ode to Halloween

Halloween, the time for ghouls and ghosts, for devils and demons but in recent years Halloween has been rife with slutty pumpkins, hoards of black cats and abysmal foam costumes. What happened to the vampires, fake blood and decaying dead?!

As a child, Halloween was a time for free sweets, chocolate and sometimes the odd 20p. Knocking on my neighbours doors and shouting ‘Trick or Treat!’ at the top of my lungs was possibly one of my favourite past times. Dressing up caused chaos. As the bin liners were ripped and red felt sewn, the house turned from luxury to decrepit mansion; the ultimate Halloween haven.

Since then I’ve taken Halloween seriously.

Continue reading “An Ode to Halloween”

Breakthrough: A Landlord Rant

It is widely known that landlords are the bane of students lives and for anyone in rented accommodation they are equal to the wicked witch of the West. Unfortunately mine is no exception, although on first meeting I thought he would be.


A typical old man, he was kind and welcoming. With his curly white hair and bushy eyebrows, he was talkative and made us feel at ease. Regimented yet fair, I thoroughly believed he would be easy to get along with.

But since moving in to my flat in September, he has been a nightmare. The fairy tale image I was had held has been destroyed, replaced with a maleficent figure. His curly white hair and bushy eyebrows which were endearing before, now an image of regret and peril. Like caterpillars, they lie upon his face while his condescending voice booms. He barks his orders from afar, demanding payment when we had no WiFi, being the central reason for our WiFi-less pit and the demon who allowed us to freeze to death. Is this a Halloween transformation or a year long nightmare? Continue reading “Breakthrough: A Landlord Rant”

Self-Diagnosis

Diagnosis: Inappropriate Laughter.

Symptoms:

  • Laughing when being shouted at/being in a serious situation.
  • Laughing when feeling awkward.
  • Laughing when being nervous.
  • Laughing when a herd of runners run past you for about an hour while walking the dogs.
  • Laughing when people fall over especially people you know, no matter how much they’ve hurt themselves.
  • Laughing when your mum falls over after helping a pigeon (karma’s a bitch).
  • Laughing when your sister ends up in hospital after hurting her foot while drunk.
  • Laughing when something has been lost hence being wrongly accused.
  • Laughing at drunk people on the street.
  • Laughing in silences

Causes: Unknown – some sort of psychological disorder you might want to get checked.

Strength: Fatal.
Cure: None – no matter how hard you bite your mouth, pinch your body or think of something sad, the laugh will force its way out leaving you feeling embarrassed and most importantly in more trouble.

I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve recently developed inappropriate laughter where I laugh in situations that aren’t funny. No matter how much I tell myself not to laugh I always eventually end up laughing and it’s mostly when there is silence in the conversation or at the wrong time; leaving me to get in more trouble than originally planned! It has happened so often over these past months that the time has come to diagnose myself and finally say with confidence, I HAVE INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHTER AND I AM PROUD! But having said this hopefully someday I’ll find a cure but for now I am who I am and I LOVE IT.