I’m currently in Cheltenham visiting a friend. Hopefully, I’ve scheduled this post correctly and it posts itself on Monday.
After last weeks poignant post I thought I’d keep this one light and airy. So here we have it, the things I believed as a child that show just how naive children can be.
1) My mother told me that if a person was to hold in their pee then their bladder would burst. While this is sort of true, she added the small detail that if this were to happen, you’d have to carry a plastic bag between your legs to catch the wee. As a young child, I found this fascinating and constantly pondered how such a contraption would be held between your legs as your arms would surely grow tired. I also spent a large part of my childhood looking for the people with the burst bladder bags.
2) The first Christmas spent living with my grandma, we had opened all our presents and were sitting in the lounge when we heard strange music. We searched far and wide for its source and realised it was coming from the tree lights (which apparently were not musical). When we searched under the tree there were two sacks that had been placed to the back which had not been there before. To this day, my mum is adamant that it was Santa Claus and the lights weren’t musical but I have my theories.
3) I was a science geek when I was younger and had many ‘How the body works’ books that I would read constantly. But despite this knowledge, I had somehow convinced myself that humans had two tubes running down their throats. However, these tubes were both used for food. One was specifically for liquids and the other solid foods. My imagination was so active that I had pretended there were tiny people working the ‘gates’ the these tubes. And I had to tell these tiny people what I was eating so that they would know which gate to open.
4) My grandma once told me that the cash machines had a tiny person living inside who would give us money. We had to say please and thank-you to upon requesting and taking the money.
5) My grandma had a pet spider who would live in a bucket in the dining room called Winsy. When we were staying she would ask if we wanted to take him for a walk to which we shrieked ‘yes!’ She would tip over the bucket and he would run round the room. Everyday we would ask how Winsy was and if he was home. When he finally left, my grandma had told us he had gone on holiday with his family.
6) Winnie the Pooh lived in a bush in my grandma’s front garden. When the tree was yellow he was home and when the tree was green he had gone back to Florida. The bush is still aptly named the Winnie the Pooh bush.