Short hair; defines sexuality or personality? #2

There was a trend on Twitter called #ArchiveDay. I was inspired by looking back through old posts, so I dug up the first post I published on FinalEnds and rewrote it. See 1st post here.

I cut my hair 5 years ago.

It started with a simple bob with one side tucked behind my hair. A few months later it was cut into Frankie Sandford’s asymmetrical pixie. I kept this style until 2013 when I cut it into a full pixie-esque hair style.

I was never graced with the kind of face to suit long hair. My hair is thick and frizzy at the front where my fringe falls and wavy the rest of the way round. So whenever this bulk of hair fell next to my face, it immediately became elongated and quite chubby looking – not at all flattering.

I was never blessed with the features to carry off long hair either. I have petite features. A very small round nose, a thin upper lip and exceedingly bigger lower one, and big brown eyes. My cheekbones are high and have eyebrows with the correct amount of arch to compliment my eyes. But my hair was not my most popular attribute. Until I cut it off.

That’s when I became confident in my looks.

I was am quite body confident – not really caring about what others think of me. Changing the way I look to make myself happy.

My style is always described as ‘edgy’ which too describes my personality. But although I had this edge before cutting my hair, it was minimal compared to what it is now. My confidence was there but being in an all girls school has its difficulties – especially if you had short hair.

With the rumours of lesbians rife with daily gossips about the latest fights that girls had over each other. Coming in to the classroom the next day after chopping my hair off wasn’t going to be easy.

It wasn’t easy. The edge that I had was easily shattered.

The day after the chop, subtle comments of ‘being masculine’ and ‘being a lesbian’ came with force and still continue today. At 16 years of age, the worry of self image imposed by the media is enough to send a girl into turmoil. I didn’t need it from my peers too.

I found myself spending excessive amounts of time Google-ing whether women with short hair were considered appealing to men. Were we still ‘sexy’, ‘attractive’ or ‘pretty’?

A large majority of sources claimed what everyone was saying to me. A resounding no hit me in the face.

I resented my hair for a long time. 

Over the years, I have grown to love my hair and my confidence is stronger than it has ever been. I’ve realised that hair is nothing other than an accessory. I’ve met men (and woman) that love it and it is often the starting point to many conversations.

I’ve realised that my hair defines me not sexually, but personally. I’ve been told never to grow it out because ‘it is me’.

It creates an unusual aesthetic (not one that you should be ashamed of) that makes you stand out from the crowd. It promotes my petite features; making them the central focus of my face rather than the once untamed frizzy mess.

I love my hair and I am never going to change it.

I write this post for those girls and woman who find themselves Google-ing whether they are attractive or not. Your appearance is nothing to be ashamed of. If you want to chop off your hair – do it.

Funny thing is, it grows back.

To be honest, it will probably be the most freeing thing you will ever do. It will probably increase your confidence and help you to realise that you are attractive because you are you. You are unique and gorgeous.

Short hair should never define your sexuality, because when has hair ever defined this? Being a lesbian is accustomed to liking other women and if you find that you don’t. Then let me tell you an objective truth you are not a lesbian.

Hair is hair. It is not your sexuality.

It is your self expression. So love it, loathe it. Either way just don’t let it define who you are.

I end with a statement I wrote back in 2012.

‘I myself think that short hair does not define you as a lesbian and calling someone this isn’t an insult either. It just goes to show how many narrow-minded people there are in the world…

…This way of thinking is ignorance about sexuality and other people’s narrow-minded approach to situations… People really need to stop seeing sexuality as part of appearance and start seeing people for who they are.’

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